Loving Betty

I can’t stop loving you. A song said to be grans favourite was played at her funeral. I’d not heard it before but it hit me to the core when the sounds reverberated around the church. A beautiful little church sat in the heart of Cubbington, where many of our family had been hatched, batched and despatched.

For all that know gran was a bit of a hero to me. Gran known as Betty to some and Elizabeth to others. She was my rock and someone who I looked up to. She was glam, always had her hair just so and never without her makeup. She taught me how to check my hair from the back and how to add a touch of lipstick on my eyes if I needed to touch up my makeup. She cooked a mean Sunday roast, poured boiled water onto her cereal and did the crossword each and every day.

She was a legend.

Gran started slipping away with dementia 2 years before her final moments and they were hard to watch. She held on tight to her empty purse that held photos of loved ones that she stroked each day willing the memories back. She had long forgotten me, yet on the final visit she told me she loved me and I knew then that this would be the last time but felt comfort that she did know.

I recorded my feelings and emotions before and after and these can be seen here.

I can’t watch them back still as it's too painful, but in the first you can hear a letter she sent me years ago that was read at the funeral. It was called ‘My Life’….

Grief was tough, so I did what I know best and turned to sewing as a form of therapy. I decided to make a blanket that I could stitch my soul, tears and memories in to. I worked on Betty my little Featherweight 221 to make her and she grew and became a beast! Far larger than I’d ever planned. The pattern came from my mind and developed as the quilt grew.

When it was finally made I sent it off to a long armed quilter for finishing touches before I embarked on the final stage of hand sewing the binding.

That job is done now. After a hiatus I pulled the quilt from my cupboard this week, took it to the Yorkshire Dales and closed the chapter of grief.

I’ve let go but I will always be Loving Betty.